i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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