Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
