good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
