Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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