I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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