Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
