found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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