so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
