I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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