i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i think i just lost a toe
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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