remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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