so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
