I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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