we have officially lost it.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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