Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome

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(650): View more from California

he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car

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(406): View more from Montana

K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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(440): View more from Ohio

So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.

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(917): View more from New York City

Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days

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(703): View more from Virginia

Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor

(703): View more from Virginia

Who is also still dressed up as a pirate

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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no

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(915): View more from Texas

On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck

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