i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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