she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
