I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
