I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
