i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
