How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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