He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
they need to just BURY HIM!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
