Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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