North Korea, Best Korea!
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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