I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
