your room smells of hookers.
And success
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize