And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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