therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel great
I just peed on a car
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Go christen that room with your naked body.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
