I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize