Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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