My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
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