my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if only i could text you this smell
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
