i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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