There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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