dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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