just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
