@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
