On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
