when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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