New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I supernannyed him into submission
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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