Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
