Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
