we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
