No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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