The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
