Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
