guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
