you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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