Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
