you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
