We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We're too hungover to prance.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
