That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
