i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
