ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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