I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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