Barsexuality is the new black.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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