it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
