My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
