hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
